Conflicts are part of everyday work. They arise where different perspectives, values, or interests collide. This makes them not only unavoidable but also full of opportunity: they encourage discussion and open up new perspectives and possible solutions. In practice, however, conflicts often feel exhausting or even threatening – especially when we don’t know how to deal with them.
Understanding Hot and Cold Conflicts
Hot conflicts
Hot conflicts are often loud and emotional.
Typical characteristics include:
- Direct confrontation: Intense discussions, heated exchanges, or open disputes
- High emotional involvement: Loud reactions, changes in tone of voice, and sometimes even tears
- Tense body language: heightened gestures or increased pacing
Cold conflicts
Cold conflicts are more subtle – and far more destructive because they remain unnoticed for longer.
Typical signs may include:
- Avoidance: The parties involved keep out of each other’s way and speak little or not at all
- Passive aggression: Delaying tasks, silent blockades, sarcastic remarks, sharp tone
- Nonverbal signals: Tense posture, avoidance of eye contact, reluctance to participate in discussions
What to Do in Hot and Cold Conflicts?
Hot conflicts
- De-escalation first: When emotions run high, it is of little use to jump straight into the discussion. Instead, you can start by naming what you notice, e.g. “I can see that this topic is connected to a lot of emotions.” Even a short break can help.
- Setting the framework: To ensure that everyone involved has the chance to speak and share their perspective, itst in hot conflicts a clearly structured (and if necessary extern moderated) conversation is advisable. Mith the meeting of conversationagreements you can create a common foundation at the beginning.
- Listening – really listening: Active listening means staying fully focused on the person speaking. Rephrase what has been said in your own words to make sure you have understood it correctly. In conflict, we want to feel seen and understood. Only then are we we once again able to shift perspective and look for solutions.
- Look behind the positions: What is this really about? What interests and needs lie behind the standpoints? Those who identify the underlying issues often discover new solutions.
- If necessary, seek support: When the conflict within the team has already become deeply entrenched, tdespite several discussions no solution has been found, or if the leader is personally involved in the conflict, you can seek support through neutral (external) moderation or mediation.
Cold conflicts
Addressing observations: If tensions are noticeable in your team but remain unspoken in meetings, first bring them up in one-to-one conversations. Focus on observable behaviours rather than judgements. “I’ve noticed that …” creates less resistance than “You always …”. Open questions such as “What’s on your mind right now?” or “How can I support you?” encourage dialogue.
Understanding causes: Cold conflicts are often unresolved old hot conflicts. Clarify together where the conflict originated and what still needs to be addressed.
Creating a safe framework: First clarify in one-on-one conversations how an honest discussion can take place without fear of consequences: Who should be involved? Who will moderate? How can we create a safe framework?
Building trust: Keep the process transparent: What will be communicated with whom, where, and when? Reliability and keeping agreements build trust.
Strengthening psychological safety: Cold conflicts arise when there is little trust in being able to speak openly. Foster this by encouraging regular, constructive feedback, a learning focus when mistakes occur, and actively seeking out different perspectives. Only those who feel taken seriously will raise conflicts at an early stage.
Preventing conflicts early: What teams can do to avoid conflicts
Key levers for teams:
- Team agreements create clarity: What does respectful communication mean to us? How do we deal with criticism? Such rules help to clarify misunderstandings at an early stage.
- Schedule regular reflections: In retrospectives or check-ins, topics can be raised at an early stage – before they escalate. Questions such as “What went well, what was challenging?” encourage openness.
- Anchor feedback firmly: When feedback is practised regularly, the threshold for addressing critical issues decreases. What matters here is to approach it objectively and appreciatively.
- Take early warning signs seriously: Withdrawal of individual people, ironic remarks, or sudden breaks in communication are often the first indications of underlying conflicts.
Fostering conflict competence: What organisations can contribute
Specifically, this means:
- Train employees and leaders: Through training in communication, conflict moderation, or interpersonal skills, employees can act with greater confidence in delicate situations.
- Appoint and train contact points: Trusted people within the organisation who can provide support when needed, de-escalate, or refer to the right places create a sense of security.
- Destigmatise conflicts and promote psychological safety: Conflicts are part of working life – what matters is how they are handled. Employees need to feel that they can talk openly about their challenges.
- Establish leadership as a role model: Leaders who handle conflicts constructively, actively seek feedback, and communicate transparently shape the conflict culture in a lasting way.
Conclusion
Conflicts are an expression of differences and a natural part of collaboration. What matters is how we deal with them. Those who can distinguish between hot and cold conflicts are better equipped to take the right steps. In doing so responsible parties should not wait until the situation is on fire. The earlier conflicts are addressed, the greater the chance of achieving sustainable solutions. , stronger relationships, and greater trust within the team.
